I've re:opened the journal that I bought in Singapore during our 1o months of traveling. I bought it at a very Borders like bookstore, which is why it looks more like something I would have bought at home than while traveling in Asia. As you can see the corners are a bit rounded and the pages inside, dirty on the edges.

Inside, there is a wealth of beauty and memories and reminders. Entries expressing the deep emotional cleansing that happened during our trip, entries of drawings of pants and shoes and dresses and shirts that we designed and had tailored in Vietnam and secretly written entries during our 10 days of silence in a Thai monastery.

There is where I landed and have stayed...because I needed to be reminded of this:

"The stability of long breathing cures the instability of a restless mind."

-daily quote from day 5 at Suan Mokh

My meditation practice these days is non-existent. Every time I have gotten on the pillow in the last few weeks, I can barely get through one deep breath before my mind is racing through everything I think I should be doing instead. And so I stop and make a statement like "My meditation was not very good". But that is exactly the wrong thing to say. My meditation is never good or bad, it is always just what it is.

So, I will simple start again to get stable my breathing. It could take 5 minutes or 5 days or 5 years. But that of course, is the whole darn point.

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