I got overwhelmed. Really overwhelmed. I can feel it coming on. I go from clear minded and energetic to dull and cloudy eyed. And tears are just under the surface, ready to burst onto the scene.
Today it came from a 2 hour conversation with a contractor we may hire and his "plumbing and heating guy". Too much information, too many choices, too many options that cost too much money on top of not enough breakfast, no childcare and not enough space to digest it all.
I started to tune out at the 90 minute mark at the moment when I felt like my head was going to explode. And then was basically not present from the rest of it. At the end, I wanted to do was throw in the towel and walk away. And I cursed the house and my life and our choices.
But I have learned to let all of this just be and then let it pass. Todays reaction was squelched in less than 20 minutes. I have learned to name it and observe it and not get completely steamrolled by it. And that well, to me, is amazing progress.
Today it came from a 2 hour conversation with a contractor we may hire and his "plumbing and heating guy". Too much information, too many choices, too many options that cost too much money on top of not enough breakfast, no childcare and not enough space to digest it all.
I started to tune out at the 90 minute mark at the moment when I felt like my head was going to explode. And then was basically not present from the rest of it. At the end, I wanted to do was throw in the towel and walk away. And I cursed the house and my life and our choices.
But I have learned to let all of this just be and then let it pass. Todays reaction was squelched in less than 20 minutes. I have learned to name it and observe it and not get completely steamrolled by it. And that well, to me, is amazing progress.
No comments:
Post a Comment