Have you ever noticed how much we apologize to each other? For missing your call or not calling back or not cleaning the kitchen?
I went to a woman's house this morning - a new mom I met at the playground. Her house is amazing and beautiful and big and dreamy and the first thing she said as we walked in through the back door was "I'm sorry - I haven't cleaned up the morning mess yet." I suppose her "apology" caught me so off guard because first, there was no mess that needed any sort of apology and second, it was in German and it was as if I didn't fully comprehend its meaning. We toss those words around so freely in the English language - all of a sudden in another language it sounded so severe.
It stayed with me all day. It stayed with me as a realized how many times I apologize for not immediately responding to someone's voice mail and how many times I get messages from other moms apologizing for not responding faster to mine. So we are all so sorry for so many things.
And then it made me think of my first boyfriend in high-school. He was a senior and I was a freshman and he was a musician and a thespian and had an earring and drove this really old school car and and I just thought he was really grand. I still do. He once told me that I said sorry too much. And that it wasn't necessary. 90% of the conversations I had in high school have fallen into the forgotten oasis part of my brain, but this one never did.
So I am going to stop apologizing, just like that, for all the little things. I will be better at being on time. I will be better at giving a realistic time frame. I will allow the kitchen to be messy because instead I played trucks on the floor with an 18 month old who totally doesn't care that the dishes aren't done.
And I will save, "I'm sorry" for when I really need it. And then, it might just mean something again.