Flinging my prana
Getting happy. I mentioned this in January, I think. And now it's October and I am mentioning it again.
It struck a cord with some of you - my getting happy. A fellow mom and friend said to me after I posted it, "Looking forward to seeing where this goes." Guess that's what happens when you actually share your thoughts with others in an authentic way. Since January, there have been a few disjointed conversations over the sound of playing children that have kept narrowing in on this getting happy thing, at least momentarily.
One of those conversations was with one of my favorite women who is also a mom and a wife and a yogi. She gave me the analogy that we as mothers are often flinging our prana (life energy or breath) - at others, at our children, at endless to do lists and domestic responsibilities, leaving very little for our own sustenance or passion. It's a lovely analogy because it is so tangible to me - I can actually feel this happening in my body. And to be able to name it, means I can be aware of it. And do be aware of it means I have the ability to change it.
So, in getting to happy, I am reeling in my prana first - looking at all the places I toss my life energy.
And let me tell you, there are many.
Some are conscious and others lie deep in my overcrowded mind and habitual ways of doing things - keeping me distracted and discontented. Too many things to do. Too many half started projects. Too many responsibilities. Too many people with too many needs. Not enough time. When in actuality, there is time and there is energy. It is just choosing how to use both, wisely.
But its not easy. Because it means being able to prioritize and be clear about what you want. And for that you actually do need time and I some days I don't brush my hair or shower. Time with 2 children under 5 is basically no time. Here enters Megan Flatt and her Mamagroove.
Basically, through coaching and online classes, Megan provides tools, tips/tricks and infectious enthusiasm about finding your passion: that thing that makes your eyes twinkle and crinkle at the edges when you think about.
In June, in a coaching session with Megan that I thought was going to be about getting back in shape after baby number two, amongst my shoulds and wouldn't it be nice to wants, lay a treasure of a sentence, just waiting to be plucked from the masses.
I want to write every week.
I wrote this for the first time in 2008 in a journal which materialized into a blog about being a first time mom. It was a cathartic and an empowering and 100% satisfying experience. But babies who take 2 naps a day turn into toddlers who turn into big brothers and you know the rest.
I want to write.
Typing it again now gives me that little flutter and grasping around the heart, like when you are standing at the edge of just about anything and your equilibrium is off and your whole body quickly reorganizes itself in order to regain balance. You know.
But in order to write again, Megan explained that I needed to prioritize doing so. That means I have to dedicate time to untangle the ball of duties and tasks and to-dos in front of me and then prioritize, eradicate, automate, delegate, streamline and simplify.
I thought it would be as easy as simply scheduling an hour a week on my calendar to write. I set up a desk space, I made a pretty 90-min box on my Google calendar every Wednesday from 1-2:30. But in half-assing the automating, delegating and streamlining step for all of my other more important tasks, I hadn't really made the time in my mind, so it was easy to brush off the allocated calendar time.
Five months later, I have no blog posts to show. But I have something else: an unexpected sense of balance and spaciousness in my home and in me because without knowing it, I actually choose a different want/goal to prioritize in the last 5 months. In choosing the get our finances up to date and organized, I surreptiously...
- Said good-bye to Repurposed Playground: Now I have one succinct place to write and gather my thoughts
- Took apart the play area under the stairs and reclaimed a working desk just for me
- Set up Amazon SubscribeNSave for almost everything
- Set up Safeway grocery delivery for the rest
- Set up Grocery IQ (shopping list iPhone app) for Trader Joes's and Whole Foods
- The daily 6-7pm hour to my husband
- Week is structured according to kid-free time, nap times and activity times
- Laundry, dry-cleaning, car wash, gardener, house cleaner etc are scheduled either weekly or monthly
- Weekly snacks are pre-packed
- Checklist for updating finances monthly is typed and printed
- Mail is opened once a week (this is my all time favorite)
- The train table is taken apart and now the coffee table is multi-functional again
- Closets are cleaned out
- Bags of things donated
Some might call this procrastination. I call it freeing up brain space and reeling back my prana.
And reclaimed prana means more passion and freed up brain space means more creative thinking and I don't have to be a math genius to tell you, that for me
passion + thinking =writing
Please forgive an typos, grammatical mistakes and mis-used words. I didn't say I wanted to write well. At least not yet.
Labels: thoughts + musings