Remembering

It's Friday night - the two men in my life are both passed out. The kitchen is a mess and my to-do list is sort of out of control but it is time to press pause.

It has been a whirlwind week of decisions and tax paying and adult conversations that are so totally not fun and I realized how mostly checked out I was for most of it. And I was so checked out because for several weeks I have not gotten to the pillow to sit and be still and I have not stopped for even five minutes to catch my breath.

The result? Sadness, mild depression, overwhelm and that pressing feeling in my whole body that the world is just too much. And then when that happens, I am not a good mom, a good wife, a good friend or a good me. And then all these precious and delightful moments pass by me and I can't even see them.

And when you have a little 12+ month old baby, every day there is something new and magical and changing and I don't want to be so checked out that I miss any of it. And that is when I found this picture...this picture of the nugget's hands when he was just a few weeks old. I love these hands. I can't get enough of these hands. These hands that now hold and explore and touch anything and everything as if it was the first time.

So tonight I will pause.

And think about those hands.

And know that everything is exactly as it should be.