Letting go

I have been thinking a lot about me. Not the selfish me, well maybe the selfish me, but more the me who is part of a bigger picture than our party of three in our little house. I have been thinking about purpose. And whenever that comes up, it gets very introspective around here.

All of my life I have been told to just "Let it go". "Let it go in one ear and out the other." "Don't let it bother you." Do you know how easy that is for some to say and how impossibly hard that is for others to do?

Well, its incredibly hard if you have no idea how to do it. What I have realized is that I am a sponge. That's the word that we have come up with. When I was little, when things got uncomfortable or people were cruel, I took in their emotions, their feelings and could never let it go. It went in one ear and then got all mixed up inside. Now as a adult, I have realized how detrimental this sponging is to my own mental and physical well-being, but a million people can tell me to "Let it go" and I still have no idea what they are talking about.

I have never had a reference point for it. Until now.

I don't remember where I found these images or how long they have been stored on my hard-drive but I "saw" them for the first time the other day and immediately said "That is letting go".

As I meander these thoughts of purpose and next steps, I am going to visualize these images, so that I can stay focused and calm, not distracted by the many emotions, needs and feelings of others that I tend to internalize.

I just had to smile - because that sounds really good if I can actually do it. Its easy to write it as I am alone, sitting at my computer, doing exactly what I want to be doing.

But only time will tell. And only practice will make the difference.